everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
