handjob tips. give me some.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
