dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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