the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
