So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
