I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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