If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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