Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.

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(850): View more from Florida

i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook

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(972): View more from Texas

I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

(732): View more from New Jersey

like it was yesterday

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.

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(815): View more from Illinois

It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.

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(747): View more from California

I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you

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(703): View more from Virginia

He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome

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