We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
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its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
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I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize