i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
