Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
God, I missed his penis.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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