I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
