wakey wakey hands off snakey
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize