I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
vagina is talking i cant
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
