just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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