Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
