What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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