I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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