last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
