on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
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Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
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His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol