At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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