if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
