My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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