At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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