they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
