The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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