you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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