Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
