i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What a dumb baby whore.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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