is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
