I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
