I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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