If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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