how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
