Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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