I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
