Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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