i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
