Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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