Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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