so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
