I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
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