would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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