i just wanna soil my oats bro
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
