someone get that fucking seahorse.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
