I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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