last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
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Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
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He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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