I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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