I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
