So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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