another moral hangover. fuck.
my shit smells like andre
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
