He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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