We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
