Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
