I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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