pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize