oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
