And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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