I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
