Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
