Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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