Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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